Is It Really 6 Years?

Where has the time gone? I mean really, can it be 6 years since I was laboring-13 days overdue with my first child? Swollen feet, swollen hands, blood pressure high, tired, anxious, and just plain waiting. It was the Monday of the August long weekend in 2003, 4:00pm and Owen Jesiah was ushered into this world, all 7 pounds 14 ounces of him. I still remember that incredible feeling of love mixed with relief, mixed with joy, mixed with fear...Driving home from the hospital we stopped at Shoppers for some tylenol and I sat there thinking, "they just let us leave the hospital with a brand new baby! What are we doing?!" Turns out everything went fairly well and things just got better. I have to admit though, I truly love the feel of a newborn in my arms, the unique and beautiful scent of their skin, but those first weeks were so difficult for me, especially with Owen. I thought that I would be just fine, I was definitely worried about how delivery would go, I never once believed that I would struggle so much in those early days with my son. I was, after all, a newly educated nursing student who just passed her maternity rotation with flying colors. Guess I missed the chapter in the textbook titled, "Reality 101." Looking back, it was a mixture of exhaustion, hormones, and unmet expectations. It was a time of soul searching, of crying out to Jesus, and of letting go of what I thought motherhood was about and embracing what Jesus wanted to show me.
Tomorrow Owen turns 6 years old. He keeps saying he can't wait till he is older, always wanting to be able to do something that he's too young for right now. Its okay, I understand his dreaming. I, on the other hand, am in no hurry whatsoever. I love where he is at right now. His inquisitive mind, his athletic ability, his kind and gentle spirit, his sensitive heart, his asking sometimes in the middle of the night for me to just come and rub his back...Lord, help me not to rush Owen to get older. Help me to appreciate the little things, the small gestures that make up the lasting memories. Help me to make the most of my days with him, the most of the moments we share as mother and son. Jesus help me to be the mom he needs me to be, to love him uniquely, completely, and unconditionally. I know that I can do all things because You give me the strength. Thank you, Amen.